Disillusioned. Discontent. Empty. Drained, lost, done. Feelings of dissatisfaction and the feeling of loss. Loss of identity, loss of freedom, loss of desire. Loss of the knowing, the finding, the believing. Unending circles, a wanderer at best. Longing to find the missing pieces. Where do I turn when every corner is a dead end. Where can I rest when I feel never at rest. Where can I find the peace to overtake me... The truth is, I know where. I know where it all begins and ends. I know where it is.
So why have I not surrendered to it? Maybe it's fear, fear that it won't come. Maybe it's impatience, wondering how long. Maybe it's all of the above. I can't hold on - the control is suffocating....
Maybe there is freedom in the letting go....
Maybe I can let go and let the master do the work. Maybe I can let go and let His hands perfect. Not in my time, not in my way, not in my strength.
But can it really be that easy?
Everything in me wants to hold on, but I hear His still small voice whisper, "I am bigger than that." Bigger than my idea, bigger than my fear, bigger than anything I could make happen. I hear His call to surrender, not a hopeless empty surrender, but a sweet sweet surrender. A surrender to the knowing that He actually knows what's best. He actually wants what's best. He actually will give what's best. A surrender to His peace, His hope, His love. A surrender to His perfect time and His perfect plan. A surrender to His gentle sweet voice, pulling you in saying, "Let go."
Starting to surrender. A continual release. A constant remembrance. A renewed sense of Hope. Letting go, giving it all to Him, and collapsing in His arms. Rest, peace, joy- may He fill our cup. Overflowing, abundant, and never running dry. He is love, He is joy, He is peace. He is our portion. You are more than enough and you were designed for Joy.
"Your love never fails"
~Kelsey Joy~